Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
