she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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