Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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