yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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