for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
she told me i tasted like america
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
