Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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