So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
