Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize