His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
