the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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