david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
she pinky promised me she was 18
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
