It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize