Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
