Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I smell stomach acid.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize