My room smells like vodka and shame
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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