I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
