Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
that's an acceptable place to lick
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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