It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
