For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I won't apologize to a one balled man
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize