So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
