The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I have post one night stand depression
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
