you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
this hospital has no fireball
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
