He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
