I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize