That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
