i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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