This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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