i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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