she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
