You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I am naked and annoyed.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
