This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
