I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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