my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
