yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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