Where is the hickey?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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