dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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