whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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