Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
