4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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