I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
