I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Welp...herpes.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
try to milk me bitch
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