Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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