Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
