is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
