He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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