You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
