mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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