i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
