k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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