So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
