its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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