Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
