Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
