Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
