That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
50% drunk capacity currently
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
