I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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