I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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