You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Randomize
