garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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