ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
time to smoke my breakfast
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
birth control should be required to get into college
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
