your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
