But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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