Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
