i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
